We all need inner peace in our lives. We try to have world peace but people are different, some people embrace it, other people fight it. Inner peace is one of the important things that keep us going and the students and community from Garissa college need that right now. The relatives of the students who lost their lives need Inner peace. I have been making mistakes lately, and they will count to other people when I am dead but I will be dead and that won’t change and matter to me at all. Yesterday, I thought and knew that there is no one in this country as brave as the men and women in Garissa University who knew they were next, as their friends lost their lives in plain sight and still held each other in hopes that everything would be alright. The luckiest of the group escaped death and I know they have a deep sorrow in their hearts and I wish I could share the sorrows and ease their pain but all I can do is hope things will be okay. The trauma is the easiest part, acceptance is the hard part. This tough times call for the nation to hope for inner peace for the families of the students who lost their lives and the students who survived such a horrific attack. There’s nothing as brave as waiting for possible death and still have the courage to text your loved ones and let them know how much they have been a joy in your life. Garissa is brave. I wish I was that brave for anything in life. Thinking of Garissa attacks, I realise that these selfish men full of hate expect me to live a life of fear but I won’t. I will be brave and courageous and face life one day at a time just like the brave people in that town. I now know I can be through trials and still have hope. I will smile every day of my life even at my death because I did one thing: I faced my fears.
I have been trying to picture myself in the situation of the brave Kenyans who have lost their lives because someone chose to interpret their religion wrongly for their own benefit and every time I think about it, my heart skips a beat. Have you wondered how it was for them as they knew they were next? How long was the wait? What was going through in their minds? What were they telling each other if they even talked at that moment at all? It’s heart breaking. It’s the bravest thing anyone can do. It’s the scariest as well.
I have trying to ask myself why anyone would even bother living if they have no hope and they have to infect either people with their sorrows but I am not God, I just know I can’t have any answer. But the answer is simple to me, I am my own life and whether you take it or not, be damn sure I lost nothing because I lived it to the fullest.
Today, I went out to a mall and when I got in and saw people being thoroughly checked, I hoped it was a damn good job and not all for the show. I am scared of my life, I don’t even think I can be free anymore but I am not going to tie myself down and let some people with no purpose in life stop me from living the life I have now. When the time comes, I will know I did well. I lived MY life. I just hope theirs is worth a smile as well.
A woman is never wrong.